Today I heard some news that caused me to pause and reflect on my journey of healing. Looking back, I realize how much this season has changed me. It has been a road marked by tears, anger, frustration, disappointment, and even illness. There were moments when my confidence, self-esteem, and energy were so depleted that I barely recognized myself.
Healing isn’t always a straight path, but every step has taught me something about God’s faithfulness.
One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is how to let go.
Letting go isn’t limited to relationships. Sometimes it’s a job, old habits, or even clothes that no longer fit the person we’re becoming. We all have something we’ve held onto too long.
For me, it was a relationship.
I struggled because I was afraid. Afraid of the pain. Afraid of the unknown. Afraid of all the “what ifs.”
What if I made the wrong decision?
What if I never heal?
What if they hate me?
What if they continue to mistreat me?
The questions seemed endless.
The truth is, letting go does hurt. It’s the grief of releasing something that was once familiar—even if it was unhealthy. We often cling to what we know because the unknown feels frightening.
It’s easy to sing “Let It Go” from Disney’s Frozen. It’s much harder to actually do it.
I’ve learned that everyone lets go differently. For some, it’s a gradual release. For others, it’s like ripping off a Band-Aid. Neither way is wrong. Healing isn’t measured by speed; it’s measured by surrender.
There were days I questioned whether leaving was the right choice. I compared the pain of staying with the pain of walking away. Neither felt easy.
But then God gently reminded me that freedom often begins with surrender.
God cannot fully reveal the new when we refuse to release the old.
That doesn’t mean we won’t cry.
In fact, I believe tears are often part of healing.
There were many moments when I cried my way through healing. I leaned on trusted friends, family, and the unwavering presence of God. Some days felt like a tug-of-war between what I wanted to hold onto and what God was asking me to release.
I’ve also learned to give myself permission to heal at my own pace. Sometimes healing comes quickly. Other times it unfolds little by little. Either way, God is with us.
Eventually, though, there comes a moment when we have to make a decision.
Will we continue holding onto what is hurting us?
Or will we trust God enough to release it into His hands?
For me, the answer came when I remembered who I am.
Not what pain said I was.
Not what disappointment said I was.
Not who someone else’s words made me believe I was.
But who God says I am
My identity is not found in what I let go of.
It is found in Jesus Christ.
His love has never changed.
His presence has never left.
His promises have never failed.
Even when I couldn’t see the light, He was walking beside me every step of the way.
So today, if you’re struggling to let go, know this:
Give yourself grace while you heal.
Trust God with what you cannot see.
The valley can be dark.
The journey can feel painfully slow.
But valleys are never meant to be permanent homes.
Keep moving forward.
Grieve what was. Honor what you’ve learned. And hold on to the hope of what lies ahead. Even in the darkest valley, there is Light.
Holding On, Letting Go, and Enjoying the Ride,
Tani
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18 (NIV)
“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me…” Psalm 23:4 (NIV)
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)